


I Could Fall In Love With You

by MiniDemons



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic!Oikawa, Happy Ending, M/M, Relationship Status: It’s complicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-20 01:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniDemons/pseuds/MiniDemons
Summary: Because Hajime was perfect. Was made for him and Tooru could never live without the other man.
	And he could never fall in love with him either.





	

**Author's Note:**

> To start off- I myself am aromantic and a good portion of this is based off of my own experiences, though might be awkward in some parts because Oikawa seems like he’d be the opposite of me when it comes to a few things so…
> 
> Tried to keep this short so it skips around a lot, and really I could have made this so much longer but I have a tendency not to finish long stories XD They are probably out of character and parts of this are probably really awkward/aren’t explained very well (since I tried to keep it short and I’m not exactly sure on how to describe aromantic-ness where it’s understandable?). None the less- hope you enjoy 
> 
> (This was mainly written because I get the warm fuzzies whenever I find a story that has an aromantic/asexual lead character)
> 
> (This also prolly has writing issues and what not, not exactly proof read so apologies there)

It was graduation, the night of it with everyone slightly buzzed with alcohol and laughter and excitement for what was to come. The moon was bright watching over the ecstatic teens sprawled out in some backyard (Makki’s, always Makki’s since he had the biggest house/yard out of the entire volleyball team).

It was graduation, and he and Hajime were sitting on the porch leaning against each other- simply taking comfort in the presence of the other (because he knew this wasn’t going to last, what with them going to separate colleges and all.) And Hajime had the brightest grin, eyes twinkling as he looked over at Tooru and then he was leaning in-

His hand moved to cup Tooru’s check and Hajime’s eyes crinkled at the edge, whispered words falling out of lips made loose with the buzz of alcohol and happiness-

“I love you.”

Lips pressed softly against his own and Tooru froze.  
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He was eleven when he started noticing things were… different. Not normal. For him at least.

The other boys would talk about pretty girls, some even mentioned crushes which seemed like such a foreign thing at that time. It was just silly talk at the time, sweet and innocent but it left him scrambling because-

He didn’t understand.

There was this nice girl in his class, he had to partner up with her a few times when the teacher refused to let him and Hajime work together- he liked her just fine. He decided that she- with her knack for math and stuttering comments- would be his first crush. That, that was what a crush was. She was adorable too- a fine first crush if he was being honest. Small and huggable and just someone that made him want to pat her head as if she was some puppy.

Whenever he was asked or the topic of crushes was brought up he’d run to her as his safety net and they’d drop it. Hajime once poked fun at him for having a crush on some mousey girl (which Tooru promptly said that he was lucky he had a chance with _his_ crush unlike Iwa-chan because who’d want someone with such an ugly mug.)

Life went on as normal once crushes faded out, no longer the ‘big new thing’. Tooru never bothered to find a second crush, simply deciding to focus on volleyball and only volleyball.

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They didn’t see each other often, things stiff and awkward with the graduation confession that Tooru all but bolted away from because _this simply could not be happening_. Hajime especially seemed to be a confused mixture of wanting to go back to how they were and wanting to just, separate.

Love must be tough, is all that Tooru could think looking at the short replies he’d get from his text messages.

He honestly didn’t know how to fix it, unable to tell Hajime that it was a misunderstanding (because it wasn’t, not really), unable to tell him sorry (because, even though he was it was something that would come with an awkward confession Tooru was unable to bring himself to make). So Tooru would stare at the text message, typing out a reply before deleting it and throwing himself into his school work and volleyball.

Academically, his first college year was going extraordinarily well.  
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At 14 it seemed like everyone was dating, or had dated at least someone. Even Hajime had a girlfriend, and here was Tooru. With masses of fangirls and never having dated a single one despite getting so many confessions.

It was probably weird, really weird. So he made a split second decision, he’ll date the next one to confess. And with dating came love, naturally.

He discovered kissing felt nice at a later time. A comforting motion of soft lips against his, it was something he felt he could get addicted to.

Unfortunately love never came, not like how all the books or movies depicted it. Tooru didn’t understand why, but maybe it was because it was the wrong person?

_Maybe he didn’t try hard enough?_

They broke up 3 weeks later, she said he did’t pay enough attention to her. That he was more involved with volleyball than with her.

_That he didn’t love her._  
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It was the holidays when both Tooru and Hajime headed towards Miyagi, third time they’ve seen each other since college started and still as awkward as ever. Hajime flinched when Tooru went to touch him as he usually did, before wincing and looking over at Tooru apologetically.

It took a while, being in each other’s company more often than not but eventually they mended- their friendship becoming more comfortable, but not like they were before (Tooru rarely reached out to touch Hajime though, barely any hugs or shoulders brushing or hand holding.)

The confession was never forgotten about, but they buried it deep, somewhere where they’d never venture too. When they returned from Miyagi they were texting constantly and meeting up every weekend.

It was how it should have been from the start, before the confession.  
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He found himself single more often than not, despite the amount of girls he dated. The longest relationship he ever had was the first one, others seeming to drop faster and faster.

They always said the same thing, and Tooru always felt the same thing for each and every one of them. He didn’t understand why nothing would change, he tried everything, from tiny and petite and brown haired to tall and athletic and blonde. From snappy and sarcastic to the nicest in the world. Nothing changed.

Nothing sparked like how it was in books and movie. There was nothing that made him feel like he needed this other person to live. And he found himself desiring that spark so much because everyone else seemed to be able to find it. But not him, never him despite how he tried.

He found himself looking at Hajime, who was perfect and wonderful- maybe he was gay (it would explain why he never fell for his girlfriends).

Because if there was anyone he knew he could fall in love with, it was Hajime.

Because Hajime was always there, and Tooru knew he could never live without Hajime.  
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Third year in college when it happened again, drunker than they were the first time and hanging off each other as they stumbled back to Hajime’s apartment. Laughter spilled out as they flung Hajime’s front door open, tumbling over each other with arms draped over shoulders.

The walk to the living room was a shaky one, with light shoves and drunk slurring- Tooru mentioned something about aliens and Hajime was left gasping for breathe as laughter escaped him before the two collapsed in some awkward heap on the couch, elbows and knees clashing into stomachs and other vulnerable parts of the body.

Eventually the laughter died down, Hajime left staring down at the drunken smile of Tooru and the soft smile the man wore was- (lovestruck).

He whispered the words again, and instead of freezing (pulling away, crashing Hajime’s world again) Tooru ungracefully looped his arms around Hajime’s neck and kissed him.

Kisses were as nice as ever, and later that night Tooru found that he enjoyed the slide of bodies together, of the presence of another, of warmth that wasn’t his own. Sex was mind numbing and pleasant, something he most definitely would not mind repeating later in life.

He woke with a horrid headache and a stomach of acid and enough regret that it choked him because-

(What did he do.)  
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He found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss Hajime, would there be that spark he was looking for? Would there be fireworks and butterflies and whatever else people said love was like? But as quickly as the thought struck him he soon dropped it, distracted by something else.

The only thing that did stay on his mind was the odd curiosity on if he could fall in love with Hajime since he failed with all the other girls and Hajime was probably the most perfect person for him.

He googled it one day, ‘never had a crush?’

Asexual and aromantic was what he found, and just as quickly as he stumbled across the answer he turned off the computer and ignored it.

A week later he looked into it again, weirdly obsessed with the two words that circled through his mind. It seemed weird, everything about it was just-

Weird.

He left it again and decided to just focus on volleyball and getting to nationals.

He stopped dating as well.  
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Hajime seemed, happy. Floating whilst Tooru watched warily. He made breakfast, he kissed Tooru’s cheek. They cuddled and Tooru was too touch starved to change anything because-

(It’s been forever since Hajime voluntarily touched him without being intoxicated.)

That morning would probably have been amazing, right out of the cheesy romance books or movies if it wasn’t for the pile of dread filling Tooru’s stomach because of the three little words whispered the night before.

The three words that Tooru has never said once in his life.

Has never felt once in his life.

And he’s just waiting for it to all just hit Hajime on what such a stupid mistake he made because Tooru could never do- be what he wanted. Needed. Deserved.

But he was selfish in hoarding all the affection until that realization hit his friend. His best friend, the person who meant that meant the most to him-

The person he could never fall in love with despite wanting to so badly.  
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“I love you.”

Lips pressed softly against his own and Tooru froze.

Hajime backed away slightly, waiting with eyes so wide and desperate and-

“I could never love you.” The words were harsh, harsher than Tooru ever wanted but they just escaped because he couldn’t- he just-

He knew he could never and it was terrible because how could he not?

Hajime was wonderful, perfection with choppy black hair and a rough exterior hiding such softness that deserved all the love in the world and-

Hajime was perfect. And he was in love with Tooru.

But Tooru could never fall in love with Hajime no matter how much he loved him. No matter how much he loved his best friend, his other half.

And Tooru could never lie to him, could never give him hope of something that was impossible because if it was possible _Tooru would already be in love with Hajime_.

Because Hajime was perfect. Was made for him and Tooru could never live without the other man.

And he could never fall in love with him either.  
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“I’m aromantic.” The words spluttered out during dinner, Tooru no longer able to cage them in as he stared at his best friend.

Hajime simply blinked at him, frozen in place but he didn’t have to worry about saying anything because Tooru kept spitting out words-

“I’m never going to fall in love with you. I can never, ever return your feelings no matter what because- And I’m really, really sorry Iwa-chan and- Please don’t hate me or go back to how it was when college started because-“

“You love me though don’t you.” Hajime interrupted and Tooru was left hanging for a split second before- “I just told you I’m _never_ going to love you. Don’t you-“

“I’m not asking if you are _in love_ with me Shittykawa. I’m asking if you _love_ me.” And Tooru spluttered before giving a huff and, “I don’t think anyone could love someone so _rude_ Iwa-chan.” But the wide brown eyes gave him away and Hajime simply shook his head, “Shut up and go back to eating. As long as you love me that’s all that matters.”

He reached over and flicked Tooru’s forehead, “I never said I wanted to date your horrid ass anyways.” Tooru gave a whine, “Mean Iwa-chan! Mean! And everybody wants to date me, I’m wonderful!” He stuck his tongue out at his companion before going back to eating.

Silence followed for a few moments before- “Is this really okay?” It was mumbled and Hajime barely heard it but sure enough when he looked up Tooru was starring determinedly at his food, mouth in a twisted frown.

“Stop worrying, it’s fine. For some reason I am always going to be in love with you, and you love me so why make it more complicated than it needs to be. As long as we stay together it’s going to be okay.”  
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He never once felt the fireworks or magic or whatever it was that love supposedly brought to its victims. His heart never raced and he never got butterflies but he was happy. He and Hajime moved in together after college, two rooms though more often than not Tooru would crawl into Hajime’s bed with him despite having his own and they shared kisses and every once in a while would even have a tumble in the sheets.

Everyone told them they were sickeningly in love, people were envious and Tooru would have to hide his giggles at them because- well it didn’t matter anymore really.

Most things stayed the same, just more touches between the two- less boundaries and more openness on topics. Hajime never dated anyone, Tooru kept his distance from most others. It was some awkward kind of compromise that didn’t seem any different from usual.

It was perfect for them. Tooru could never ask for anything better.

He decided, movies and books made too much out of being in love with somebody and too little at simply loving whose already there in life because he found his perfect person and didn’t need to fall in love with them to realize it or to achieve happiness.


End file.
